Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

Your mam is so fat.

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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