How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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thomas!!!!

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How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

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Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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Why did the Olympic gold-medalist lose his faith in God? Because he began to feel that the the reasoning that most religions were based on was fairly spurious.

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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24

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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