Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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