"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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38 studio's new game... Finance City

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops