Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick !

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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womans having rights.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops