Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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the NAACP

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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