What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Rylan Clark

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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