Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

Jeff

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

Suck pussy

Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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