How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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