-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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A Mormon walks into a bar

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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neil likes pube toast

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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