What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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