Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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woman's rights

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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