A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the street? K

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops