In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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whats 2+2? math.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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