A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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Ehh

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Terraria

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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