Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -3

my wife out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down -3

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops