A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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tea with milk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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