A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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antonis sister is mighty fine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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