What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

My nipple is bleeding

why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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