How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

82

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

What's stupid a light bulb.

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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