Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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yo momma so fat that she needs to lose weight

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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a man was shot.... he died

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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