Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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all your base are belong to mark

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops