A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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