You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

Roses are flowers.

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

antonis sister is mighty fine

why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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