What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So these two girls have a cup .

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops