Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwarvt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwa

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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i black man walks in to a bar.he askes if he can make out with you? the man says"no. black man says"why? the guy says"because im not homersexal. black man says"oh. boss says"hey i told you dont talk to black people. guy says"no i can ekplan.boss says no more of buts or buy. boss says" you are fired guy says"NO! boss says"yup both of you get out! guys say no two guards come to talk them out. THE END`DONE!

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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