Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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what is the difference between a black person and a white person there skin

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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Set up Punch line.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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