What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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