Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

Women's Rights

What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

someone jumped off a bridge he died

Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

Yo mama is so fat she died

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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