Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

matt is fat

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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