What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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Rylan Clark

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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