How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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