Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Golf.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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