Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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