why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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