How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

SBB

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

thumb_up thumb_down +6

123 f*ck off

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops