Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

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Yo mom as so dumb.... That she has a low IQ

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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Caolan and Eamon

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

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Sloths

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops