Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops