Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops