If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Jewwy Jewstein

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How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

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Anti-Joke Memes Are Obviously Not A Thing

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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