Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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