What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's funnier A Ginger or a fat kid A fat ass ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -5

*prepares this to get negative votes*

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

thumb_up thumb_down -5

who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops