whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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