Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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