What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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