Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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