What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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i had sex.

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops