Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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your mom is so fat.

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops