What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops