So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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