Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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One time i was sitting down

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops