What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops