learn. advance!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A whole 'nother.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

lets bomb africa

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -37

are u black unlucky

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops