what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

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8===D

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL Wasted your time didn't I -All the lol post are by me, LOL GUY.

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why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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